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hindsight twentytwenty

by deaf-child

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1.
look 08:40
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Psst! Hey there Look here Look at What’s left All that We’ve got All that We kept Ourselves Our lives Our lies Our eyes Our guises, vices, super sizes, our high-rises, visualize this “I realize the size of the destruction was beyond comprehension, sending wave after wave through our spacetime continuum! Now let’s reflect on history.” “I see I see” “Well see, if it were up to me, maybe the whole world would be living their lives differently.” “Oh yeah, says who?” “Says me!” "Who knew?" “Boo hoo, so sad, you sob and cry And clasp your hands, look to the sky Yet merrily turn sighted eyes While someone's child is left to die” Just start lookin' around! First we look around, and then we break the music down ("Listen to how I break down") "Someone's child is left to die" People will come, Ray Ray, people will come People will come, Ray Ray, people will come People will most definitely come "Someone’s child is left to die" "I resent that! I’m a good person, trying to make my ends meet every day; You want reflections? I’ll give you my version: Go fuck yourself and get out of my way!" "Is that really all you've got to say?" No please no not today don’t go Until I thank you in the most humble of ways It’s the least I can do, don’t let it gaslight you Don’t let it gaslight, don’t let it gaslight, don't let it gaslight, don’t let it gaslight you! "Look!" "Look!" "Look" "Look" "Look!" Let’s bring it back!
2.
time loop i, or where thematic elements are introduced in an otherwise innocent fashion ("themes in dreams") 03:03
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3.
shouldn't have been such a douchebag 03:22
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You shouldn't have been so emotional. You shouldn't have been, you shouldn't have been. I shouldn't have been so vulnerable. I shouldn't have been, I shouldn't have been. We shouldn't have been so fucking genuine. You shouldn't have been, I shouldn't have been. But you were and I was and we were You shouldn't have been so unbelievable You shouldn't have been, you shouldn't have been I shouldn't have been so readable I shouldn't have been, I shouldn't have been We shouldn't have been so inconceivable We shouldn't have been, we shouldn't have been But you were, and I was, and we were And it makes the pain more real because we were This I know for sure... History repeats itself This story repeats itself Once or twice, and it might happen again in the future Lessons learned and no doubt mistakes made, Yet when it's time to reflect: "No regrets," I guess... Shouldn't have been Should not ever have been Shouldn't have been We shouldn't have been so ignorant Collective heads in the sand Guns in our hands Takin' our stands Unwilling or unable to understand our fellow man, Yet trying as hard as we can to defend a false premise?! True freedom comes *only through unity,* And *only* where life comes *before* liberty
4.
all-traumatic all-american eyes (the horse and the megalodon) 06:56
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sad sunken eyes behind cloth quite surprised for your freedom has vanished, your mental health's jeopardized some say that reason will help us be free from our own inner demons, keep us from being compromised always believe what you see with your own eye eschew expectation, trust your observations and maybe with time we can find piece of mind, come together, unite, and leave our differences behind maybe with time, we can find common ground, and look into each other's eyes after being traumatized we're traumatized we're all traumatized we won't see the light we won't see the light until we unite reason, read, and write refuse to deny quality of life, then we can survive together survive, together we rise look into my eyes ,stay right by my side don't leave me tonight I don't feel right, I don't feel right, who turned out the lights, i've lost all my sight don't leave me tonight don't tell me goodbye I don't feel right I don't feel right I don't feel right oh me oh my oh me oh my oh why oh why
5.
time loop ii, or where shit starts getting weird ("let the creatures outta their cages") 02:03
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let the creatures outta their cages let the creatures outta their cages let the creatures outta their cages ... gonna let all em eight legged creatures out!
6.
arachnids 02:17
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7.
groundhog daydream 03:02
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paper hands tremble, it’s tremolo – ‘turn it up’ messed up esophagus, branching-out clouds in the mirror “disappear” brushed aside thoughts of a suicide spectacle suspended in midair, curled around the shower curtain “so uncertain” out on the balcony, i saw a star appear ‘it’s only five,’ you proclaimed “what a shame” richard’s star fell from the sky to the sea tore up the paper made from his tree “silly me," he said i turn up the 118, a muse to the masses watch all the passers-by fall from the sky “me oh my”
8.
sea shanty for intellectuals who miss each other (zoomers' lament) 06:06
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I think about you What in the world have I become? Oh god, I don't know. Just what in the world have I become? God, I don't know, god, I don't know! But I know I can sing a song with the band I can play along with the man I can laugh, I can dance I could bring my baby to France She's holding my hand, she's guiding my heart And now if I only just knew how how to start... Lai dai dai dai I think about you
9.
time loop iii, or where the wheels come off in a frenzy of emotional dishonesty ("perfect vision") 04:51
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perfect vision twenty twenty perfect twenty twenty vision perfect perfect twenty twenty perfect vision twenty twenty
10.
open the shades (i.p. pool emit) 02:57
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11.
aye to i 03:54
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She is Love I see her In the distance she’s a blur Not sure if that’s her or you However far away she stands, I hope that she sees me too... I seize love Love sees me Optical infinity Although some loves I cannot see, they’ll always be a mystery- even some that are part of me For as good as my vision is, some loves are well beyond me... Love sees Love grows Love breathes Love knows Eyes see Eyes lie I live I die I feel Love heals But first It hurts I’ll hear her voice and she’ll hear mine I’ll feel Love’s warmth, we’ll feel right She’ll love me back - and tell me why And in that sense I’ll see her eye to eye
12.
the loneliest castle in edinburgh 01:02
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13.
love is blind (ballad version) 03:25
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how did I manage to fuck up my life beyond all belief today? when did I stray off the path from which I’d set out not to deviate? and if you’d only tell me what I wanted to hear then I’d feel fine and if you’d only tell me that I was your one and only love then we'd be divine we could be so divine where the fuck was my mind when I said the things I said to you before? now we’re all broken and forgotten and you’ve already walked out the door and if you’d just turn back the clock on your emotions then you’d feel fine and if you’d tell yourself that I was your one and only love then we’d be divine we could be so divine
14.
time loop iv, or where the universe continues to expand ("raw infinity") 03:10
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15.
time release i, or where optimism catches some whys before catching some zees ("morpheus beckons") 05:30
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Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock... Take your time... So many dead that didn’t need to die Hundreds of thousands of innocent lives, few of them got to say proper goodbyes Look, I respect that we don’t always see eye to eye And I accept that our debates sometimes cause great divides Our values differ but we both value each other's lives Yet with the body bags piled up so goddamn high I just can't help but wonder why... Time...time, in time It's time to go... You know that it's time to go... It's time to go.... Lay down your head next to mine in this bed It's time to rest no more words need be said Lower your eyelids as I make the room dim Morpheus beckons you, just go to him Let Morpheus guide you 'til the sun rises again Just follow Morpheus, you can trust him Follow his lead 'til the last stage you find yourself find yourself find yourself find yourself find yourself find yourself in
16.
timeless void, or where the time loop operator pulls all the strings of time ("in the underbelly of the basilica") 03:48
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"so quiet you can hear the needle drop" baby, cry ooooh hoo hoo make me cry ooooh hoo hoo baby cry ooooh hoo hoo "look forward" maybe cry ooooh hoo hoo "look ahead" baby, fly ooooh hoo hoo make me cry ooooh hoo hoo

about

Creating this album was my main means of processing the saddest and scariest parts of the COVID-19 pandemic as a provider of both medical and mental healthcare. This is also a deeply personal album, and one that invokes far more of my subconscious than the pandemic alone.

Suggested listening settings:
Although they are non-essential for enjoying hindsight twentytwenty, I strongly recommend using headphones with default equalizer settings for the most immersive listening experience. And while I understand that 21st century life is often at odds with the art of the album, please know that it is meant to be heard as a whole.

Where to listen/download:
The album is available to stream at most major streaming services as well as my website (www.deaf-child.com). It can also be downloaded through Bandcamp, though please note that the listed price is merely a suggested donation. I write music to process and express my own emotions, and I produce music because I want to hear it and listen to it. I am excited to share it with everyone and do not intend for anyone to be denied a listening experience on the basis of cost. If you want to download the album at no cost, please email or message me (via any platform you prefer) and I will gladly send you a download link.

DEDICATIONS
hindsight twentytwenty is dedicated to everyone who experienced any type of stress related to the COVID-19 pandemic, and especially to those who experienced loss. The musical ideas which formed the basis for two songs in particular – the first and last songs on the album – came to me during April 2020, when I was privy to the peak of the pandemic in New York City. These two songs carry heightened emotional meaning for me personally, and thus I have attached additional dedications to each:

The first song, “Look,” is dedicated to my father, who showed me how to have vision.

The last song, which has multiple names and meanings, is dedicated to The Bronx, with much love.

credits

released February 2, 2022

All songs composed, produced, and mixed by Alexander W. Legge

All songs mastered by Owen Brafford

All documented lyrics were performed by Alexander W. Legge, except for “Time Loop III” and select lyrics in “Time Release I,” which were performed by a computerized voice patch, as well as select lyrics in “In the Underbelly of the Basilica,” which were performed by vocal sampling software.

“Look” includes a vocal sample from the film ‘Field of Dreams’
“Arachnids” includes a vocal sample from the film ‘The Shining’
“Sea Shanty for Intellectuals Who Miss Each Other (Zoomers’ Lament)” includes a vocal sample from the film ‘Forrest Gump’
“Time Loop III (“Perfect Vision”)” includes a distorted vocal sample from the Broadway recording of The Who’s Tommy.
“In the Underbelly of the Basilica” contains an audio sample of the 7pm clap, originally distributed via the New York Times online during April 2020.
Additional assorted sound effects, including ambient sounds, are from Freesound.org. For a comprehensive list, please email me or send a message through any platform.

All songs were produced using Reason 12.
Additional vocal sampling was added with the help of Vocaloid 5.
Additional software used: Logic, Audacity
All tangible album art was created utilizing a collage of photographed and found images, layered and edited using SuperImposeX. Any related pareidolia is attributable to your own neural tissue.


ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks to everyone I have ever shared a musical experience with, and especially anyone with whom I have ever played music. Thanks to all who inspire me to write music, even the people that will never read this. Thanks to Victor Ivanov for helping me reengage in concert-going after two years of living under a rock. Additional shout outs to people who provided feedback regarding this record along the way – including David Cumming and Drake Andersen. Special thanks to Jack Payne, who provided feedback which was integral to mixing the vocals. And kudos to Owen Brafford for all of the feedback and work/time dedicated to helping me bring this project to life.

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Deaf Child New York, New York

original electronic music by Alex Legge

www.deaf-child.com

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